the new four-letter--word

So last night at the Tuesday night house we watched America's Got Talent. (after eating at Lucille's for the FOURTH time in four days... at this point the mere thought of eating there again in the next six months makes my stommach turn... I'll need to muscle through it at least once more in the next week or so... but it'll just be for dessert so I don't mind that too much.... but that's neither here nor there)

It was a fabulous two hour season finale featuring special guests who sang with each of the four finalists and it was especially fun to see the "Audition All stars" perform together singing We are the Champions... three words: flaming pogo stick


The best part was when David Hasselhoff performed "This is the Moment" from the Broadway play Jekyll and Hyde... it actually wasn't horrible.


During his "special performance" they panned the audience, whos members were holding up lighters, babies and signs with phrases like "i'd like to hassle the hoff" and "i heart hoff"... but my personal favorite read: "Hoff it"


We read them out loud and I looked at Brent and said, "that kinda sounds like a cuss word!" So we decided that from now on, "hoff" will replace any curse word imaginable.

For example...

D: "Amber, you need to go fill in at the switchboard so Rachel can take her lunch."
A: "Hoff that!"


other examples include:
*oh hoff...
*what the hoff?
*where in the hoff are my keys??
*this coffee tastes like hoff...
*hoff YOU, buddy! (best when used while driving)
*your hoffing car is a piece of hoff... how the hoff do you have hoffing duct tape holding your car together? that's hoffing amazing..

Or you could "full name it" for a more dramatic effect...

*don't hasselhoff with me!
*woah... she just got hasselhoffed!



See? now you, too, can tell stories that contain expletives while still "keeping it clean."


For example: Last week in US Weekly there was a quote from Matt Damon about his wife, Luciana, that I just love. I previously couldn't include it in my blog because it was inappropriate. But now, using HOFF instead of another four letter word, I can, and will, include it:


"People say, 'Do you like being married?' HOFF no. It's a ridiculous thing to do. But I like being married to her."


Isn't that sweet?

hoff yea...