Owning it

A few months ago I got busted by a traffic camera for running a red light (in my defense, I didn’t think it was red at the time- I don’t habitually run red lights… I know it’s the most dangerous driving mistake you can make, and I really don’t have a death wish). I felt guilty for MONTHS for making such a stupid mistake (even though it wasn’t intentional, I still carried the burden until I completed traffic school).

I always dread having to use that intersection because I’m always reminded of the horrible feeling of putting other people’s lives in danger and being a bad citizen.

Well, today I had to use that intersection again, and there’s TONS of construction in that area right now, and I totally misjudged the timing of the light… I followed a truck in to the intersection and wasn’t able to get out in time. I slammed my fist on my steering wheel, frustrated with myself for making such a DUMB mistake. I did notice that I didn’t get “flashed” by the traffic camera that caught me last December… I figured I just missed it and would get a ticket in the mail in about a week. I changed lanes to get out of the intersection and as I pulled around the big truck I saw them. Two motorcycle police officers.

I smiled and waved (I really did) turned on my right blinker and pulled over immediately.

I knew I’d done wrong. I absolutely deserved a ticket.

(As a side note, I suffer from severe “Black and White Fever”- I’ve been known to make wrong turns simply because I saw a police car. You’d think I was a fugitive or a drug lord or something… I have no idea why this is- I was raised to believe that “Policemen are our friends”… I have a cousin who’s a police officer, and I’ve never done anything illegal in my life (okay, that’s a lie), but still… I have NO REASON to be afraid of being pulled over.)

I had my iPod touch on playing music and I’d just picked up lunch and was headed back to work when “the incident” took place. When I pulled over I got really shakey and nervous (see note above). I couldn’t turn off the music on my iPod to save my life and I certainly didn’t have the wherewithal to just TURN THE VOLUME DOWN so I proceeded to sit on my iPod to muffle the sound. I rolled down my drivers side window expecting him to walk up to my door and almost jumped out of my chair when he scared me by knocking on my passenger side window. (btw, I also scare easily.) He laughed at me. I knew he was coming, and he still scared the crap out of me.

So I roll down the window and this is the conversation that followed:

Police Officer: Do you know why I pulled you over?

Me (excited, scared, and trying really hard to not use my little girl voice): Yes, sir, I do… And I’m REALLY sorry!!

P.O.: I know with all this construction everything around here is really crazy but what you did was really dangerous.

(by this time I’ve got giant tears in my eyes, but I’m holding them back. I will not cry…)

Me: Yes, I understand that. I shouldn’t have entered the intersection without knowing I could get out of it. I’m really sorry... I MADE A BAD CHOICE!.

P.O. Do you have your driver’s license? (I hand it to him) Do you still live in Mission Viejo?

Me: Yes

P.O. What brings you to Huntington Beach?

Me: I work at Vanguard University (which, by the way, ladies and gentlemen is next door to the Police Station- we share a parking lot)

P.O.: Oh really? What do you do there?

Me: I do helpdesk

(he looks at me and I know he wants to think I’m lying but he knows I’m telling the truth because really, why would you lie about that?)

P.O. Do you have your Registration and proof of Insurance?

(I’m thinking- here it comes… I'll hand him my paperwork, he'll say “Okay I’ll be right back” and he'll gonna go back there and write me up a big fat ticket. One that I totally deserve. 100%)

I reach for my glove compartment and I can’t open it! I yank it and the handle/lock breaks off in my hand and the glove compartment falls open. I look at him, wide eyed with the handle in my hand. He smirks and asks “Is your car gonna make it?”

I let out a little giggle and say “Yea… I think so”

I give him my registration and proof of insurance and he looks at them both (they’re both current, btw) takes a deep breath and says “I’m gonna let you go. Please. Please. Drive safely.”

Me, yelling to him like an idiot as he walks back to his motorcycle: "Oh, I WILL! I promise!! Thank you! and I REALLY AM SORRY!!"

Stop talking Amber.