Do you ever get uncomfortable when people give you compliments? I do. I always get nervous and am never sure how to properly (and appropriately) receive the compliment. Sometimes if it's a "boy" it makes me really nervous and I start blubbering like an idiot (shocker, I know). Lately I've noticed that I've started "bouncing back" the compliment to the compliment giver (i.e. They say "You look very nice" and I'll say "No YOU look really nice" or they say "You have a really great smile" and I'll say, "No, YOU have a really great smile!") This sometimes gets a laugh and sometimes makes things VERY uncomfortable... depending on the person and the compliment.
One thing I've always been told is that an adult should be able to gracefully accept a compliment. I've been especially mindful of this lately, and in observing my reactions and interactions with people, I've learned something about myself: I need words of affirmation. Although sometimes I get nervous accepting a compliment, when someone tells me they like me, I've done something well or they think I'm great, I bloom like a flower in April. I thrive when I recieve words of affermation.
Tonight as I was driving home, I started thinking about some notable compliments I've recieved. Some sweet, some funny, they've stuck with me (some for years).
So here they are... Those affirmations that have become a part of me...
The compliment I hear most often and really couldn't live without:
"I think you're great"
One of my besties (yes, that's right. I just said "bestie") tells me this pretty much every day. It's one of those things that I hear her say to, well, everyone, but I don't care. I know that she really thinks I'm great and is always going to be my biggest fan (that is, until I meet that "special guy") and is always cheering me on to the finish line, both literally and figuratively.
Most surprising compliment:
"I appreciate your honest answers- I need you around for that kind of feedback all day."
I'm usually all about helping people save face and feel good about themselves. If you sing a song and it was awful, I would probably still tell you that you did a great job because I know it was really difficult and I wouldn't want to crush you. But there are some people in my life who I either respect too much or they just give me diarrhea of the mouth and I can't not tell the truth- no b.s. here. These people help me better understand that honesty really IS the best policy and that my opinion really does count. To them. Not everyone.
Most awkward/poorly phrased but sweet while still being kind of creepy compliment:
When I worked at Starbucks, I would often have to be at work at 4am. One customer once said to me something I will never forget as long as I live. As soon as he realized what he'd said, he got really embarrassed, but that's neither here nor there. What he MEANT was that I was sweet and had a great attitude without being annoyingly peppy first thing in the morning.. But what he SAID was:
"You seem like a really great person to wake up next to and have a cup of coffee with."
(guys please note: It is never a good idea to tell your barista you want to wake up next to her. Ever. It's very awkward.)
Compliment I don't necessarily agree with but appreciate so much because I want it to be true:
"You're a really good and clear communicator"
Lisa tells me this often. I don't necessarily think it's true, but I strive to make it so. I often feel like I'm speaking a different language and that I'm not making any sense, but I really try to make sure that I communicate clearly so that all questions are already answered (I abhor conversations that talk topics/situations to death) so there's no confusion. It doesn't always work this way, especially when I get nervous. Which is often.
Hands down, the greatest compliment I've ever received:
"You're the voice in my head telling me I can do it."
Wow. I still tear up everytime I think of this. When I first met my old roommate, we actually worked together. She was "cute" and the boys we worked with were all pretty sweet on her and wanted to be "gentelmanly" and never made her/taught her how to do anything at the store. She looked to me to teach her because I wasn't gonna let her get off so easy just because she's cute. Whenever she would get frustrated or would make a mistake I would always say to her, "You can do it."
She told me months later that whenever she'd have trouble with something, she would hear me saying to her "You can do it" in her head, and she knew nothing was impossible.
I didn't remember any of that. It was a sobering reminder to me that I needed to be more mindful about encouraging others.
What about you? What's the greatest compliment you've ever received? Given? Do you struggle with accepting compliments? Giving them? Hmmm?
