clear away what was, make room for what will be...

if I were married last night…

2010-06-23T11:34:00.000-07:00

I tossed and turned for hours last night.
I couldn’t get comfortable- I kept bunching up pillows and stuffing them under my body, trying to bring some sort of relieve to my stiff, aching back.
I ended up wrapping a twisted-up down comforter around my body until I found a position that was comfortable.
The ibuprofen I’d taken earlier had brought little relief and every breath felt like knives being jabbed into my spine.
Then I thought about how this scenario might play out if I were married.
Then I laughed at the possibilities.
Hopefully my future husband thinks it's as funny as I do.
I suppose it would have gone something like this:

Me- *whispering* Husband?
Silence.
Me- *whispering a bit louder* Husband.
Silence. Then snoring. Then more silence.
Me- *whispering loudly, almost talking* Husband!
Deep breath. Silence. Husband rolls over on his side.
Me- *fake loud, violent coughing, I sit up quickly and grab his arm like I’m choking*
Husband asks “Are you okay?”
Me- “Oh you’re awake? I totally thought you were sleeping. Would you mind cracking my back? I can’t breathe.”

Secrets, Secrets

2010-04-14T10:19:00.000-07:00

I make a living working the IT helpdesk for a small University. It's not a particularly unusual line of work, but I typically interact with people when they... let's just say... aren't at their best. And it is in these moments of frustration, anger, weakness and fear that I see what no one wants to see. Ever. People get mean with me. They whine. They cry. They sob. They yell. (Oh, do they ever yell) They lie. They spill their guts.

In fact, I know how to turn a "normal" conversation into a "that was weird" conversation faster than you can imagine. I just get nervous. But for some reason people feel very... at ease with me. I guess I just make people feel like they're in a confession booth. and I'm the priest. and they tell me their secrets.

Confession is good for the soul. Usually.

But what I want to know is- *whose* soul are we talking about? Yours? or mine? Because let me just tell you right now- I don't want to know your secrets.

Don't get me wrong- I am 100% available to my girlfriends when it comes to getting down to business-bearing your soul-confession. I'm not talking about serious-business I-did-insertsecretsinhere-again-today confessions. That's not what I'm getting at here.

I'm talking about those secrets that you're just DYING to share. The "I ate 5 red velvet cupcakes last night to see if it would turn my poop red... and it DID!" secrets. Or the "One time... I cross-dressed all weekend while my wife was out of town. I just wanted to see what it was like" secrets. (um... Michael Scott much?)

I don't want to know that crap. Seriously.

So. When you feel like sharing those with me, please think twice. I know something about me just screams "tell me your secrets!!" (I'm working on getting this fixed, I promise) but I beg you- when you get the urge to spill it to me, please- just... don't.

Nothing like a blog on marriage written by a girl who's not married.

2009-12-31T14:31:00.000-08:00

Saturday evening I was sitting on the couch, talking to my boyfriend about our schedules, when we’d be able to get together next and generally just talking about how busy we both are. What I said next just came right out of my mouth, and I admittedly didn’t grasp how true and honest it really was, nor have I been able to shake the thought since. I said to him, “My life doesn’t really have space for a boyfriend. I’m a very selfish person, and I’m very used to it.” I then kissed his cheek and told him about how I was looking forward to the challenge of carving out time to spend together during the week and that he’s totally worth it (awww!!).

I haven’t been able to shake this. And about twenty minutes ago, it hit me as to WHY this has resonated with me so strongly…

Are you ready?

Here it is.

Are you sitting down?

I hope so…

It occurred to me that this will likely be what most of my future arguments with this man are going to revolve around: I am a selfish, selfish person. I don’t like doing things for other people and I get annoyed when I have to rearrange my agenda to accommodate the needs of others. I enjoy doing what I want, when I want, without having to “check in” with anyone. I go to bed when I want. I get up when I want. I sleep sideways on my bed if I feel like it. (I really do). My schedule, for the most part, is about me.

I’ve heard John Piper talk about how marriage to an imperfect person is God’s way of showing us how selfish we truly are. It's about holiness. Not happiness... He’s probably right…

But I’m not a wife right now.

I’m a girlfriend.

I’m just looking down the road and seeing how God is going to use marriage (someday) to break, refine and shape me. I’m peeping my eye through a key hole and almost groaning. Not that I think marriage won’t be awesome- there’s TONS of stuff I’m looking forward to (ahem!), but it’s the refining part that makes me groan and just KNOW “I’m gonna be in so much trouble.” That poor man (my future husband) is going to have his hands full.

I know to a lesser degree he’ll use this dating relationship to make me better. I’ll need to learn to be flexible. I’ll be learning healthy boundaries.

Hear me on this- I’m not waiting til I get married to work on my selfishness. This isn’t “his (my future husband's) problem”- God has brought this to my attention because it’s obviously something he’s addressing in my heart NOW. I’m just saying. I know myself. I know I need to be more flexible. I need to hold my time a little less tightly and be more willing to put aside my wants and needs to help my friends, specifically my roommate, with things they need and want.

I want to love more, and I believe that as I seek to serve God, he’ll open my eyes to opportunities to serve and love on those around me.

1 John 4:11-12 "Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us."

Happy Tonsil Day! or: Yay!! It's My Life-a-versary!!!

2009-09-24T17:04:00.000-07:00

Why today is special...
One year ago today, through my tears, I looked each of my parents in the eye and between spitting out mouthfuls of blood, I told them I loved them very much.
I made them promise they would tell my brother I loved him with my whole heart and that I was very proud of the man he'd become. They agreed, telling me they loved me as I was wheeled off to what we all knew to be a very dangerous emergency surgery.

I remember waking up crying and freezing cold, and actually surprised to be alive. I wanted water, chapstick and I think I sassed the nurse for not letting me get up right away to use the lav.
The road to healing was a long (and very bland) one, full of oatmeal and jello. A year later, eating hot foods is still incredibly painful, but an oddly comforting reminder of the healing that has taken place and has yet to take place in my life. It has also been a very poignant reminder of the many areas of growth I've experienced over the last year, both physical, emotional and spiritual.
I'm in awe of the way the Lord has healed me in His own way. Sometimes when we go through physical and spiritual healing he blesses the scars- they become testimonies of His power and redemption. I'm thankful for my scars. No one can see them, but when I eat things that are hot or spicy, my scars burn (like Harry Potter's scar when he's near Lord Voldemort)- I will never eat a bite of salsa, spicy Indian food or hot sauce again without thanking the Lord for my life and for my amazing family (both biological and spiritual) who loved me through one of the darkest and scariest times in my life.
After 15 months of unexplained sickness leading up to this surgery, I have now been healthy for 1 full year. By the time I had my surgery I had actually forgotten what it was like to be healthy, and let me tell you- it's been absolutely amazing.

***And Kelly, I'm sorry for stealing your thunder last year. The next time I decide to have a non-vital organ removed twice (I do still have an appendix, so the possibility still exists), I'll be sure to just suck it up and wait a day so that the second emergency surgery doesn't land on your birthday. But look at the bright side- I was nice enough to not go and die on your birthday, so what am I saying?? YOU'RE WELCOME!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY, KELLY!

Where my heart is...

2009-05-18T13:14:00.000-07:00

DESTINY OF HOLINESS
-Oswald Chambers

"Ye shall be holy; for I am holy." 1 Peter 1:16 (R.V.)

"Continually restate to yourself what the purpose of your life is. The destined end of man is not happiness, nor health, but holiness. Nowadays we have far too many affinities, we are dissipated with them; right, good, noble affinities which will yet have their fulfillment, but in the meantime God has to atrophy them. The one thing that matters is whether a man will accept the God Who will make him holy. At all costs a man must be rightly related to God.

Do I believe I need to be holy? Do I believe God can come into me and make me holy? If by your preaching you convince me that I am unholy, I resent your preaching. The preaching of the gospel awakens an intense resentment because it must reveal that I am unholy; but it also awakens an intense craving. God has one destined end for mankind, viz., holiness. His one aim is the production of saints. God is not an eternal blessing-machine for men; He did not come to save men out of pity: He came to save men because He had created them to be holy. The Atonement means that God can put me back into perfect union with Himself, without a shadow between, through the Death of Jesus Christ.

Never tolerate through sympathy with yourself or with others any practice that is not in keeping with a holy God. Holiness means unsullied walking with the feet, unsullied talking with the tongue, unsullied thinking with the mind - every detail of the life under the scrutiny of God. Holiness is not only what God gives me, but what I manifest that God has given me..."

**This excerpt is printed out in *teeny tiny* font and taped into the front of my pocket Bible. I read it often and have on more than one occasion been tempted to get "unsullied talking with the tongue" tattooed on my wrist (but I usually have "beloved" or "poiðhma" written there, so for the time being, I'll stick with the "dry erase tattoo" system that I've already got going on).

Lazy Sunday

2009-04-19T12:30:00.000-07:00

This morning I spent a few hours in the living room with my laptop returning emails, taking the "Are You On A Boat?" quiz on Facebook (I am, by the way), and watching the Food Network while I folded several loads of laundry. I also got some work done, so all in all, it was a very productive morning.
I'm totally mystified by the Food Network. Even though I rarely cook, I still love it.
After about 40 minutes, I came to the following conclusions:
-Paula Dean can never have enough butter. I'm okay with that.
I also wish I had a southern accent so it would sound as cute as Paula when I called people "sugga"
-Sandra Lee kind of scares me. She makes it seem very glamorous to be a "lady of leisure" and I'm a tiny bit concerned about her drinking habits. (Don't get me wrong. I really like her program and don't have anything against her. She just seems to not have gotten the memo that it's 2009 and not 1949. If I was a feminist, I'd probably really dislike her. But I'm not. So I don't.)
-I want a marriage as affectionate as the Neelys. I love that when they ask each other for kisses they say "gimme some of that brown sugar!"

Owning it

2009-03-27T15:36:00.000-07:00

A few months ago I got busted by a traffic camera for running a red light (in my defense, I didn’t think it was red at the time- I don’t habitually run red lights… I know it’s the most dangerous driving mistake you can make, and I really don’t have a death wish). I felt guilty for MONTHS for making such a stupid mistake (even though it wasn’t intentional, I still carried the burden until I completed traffic school).

I always dread having to use that intersection because I’m always reminded of the horrible feeling of putting other people’s lives in danger and being a bad citizen.

Well, today I had to use that intersection again, and there’s TONS of construction in that area right now, and I totally misjudged the timing of the light… I followed a truck in to the intersection and wasn’t able to get out in time. I slammed my fist on my steering wheel, frustrated with myself for making such a DUMB mistake. I did notice that I didn’t get “flashed” by the traffic camera that caught me last December… I figured I just missed it and would get a ticket in the mail in about a week. I changed lanes to get out of the intersection and as I pulled around the big truck I saw them. Two motorcycle police officers.

I smiled and waved (I really did) turned on my right blinker and pulled over immediately.

I knew I’d done wrong. I absolutely deserved a ticket.

(As a side note, I suffer from severe “Black and White Fever”- I’ve been known to make wrong turns simply because I saw a police car. You’d think I was a fugitive or a drug lord or something… I have no idea why this is- I was raised to believe that “Policemen are our friends”… I have a cousin who’s a police officer, and I’ve never done anything illegal in my life (okay, that’s a lie), but still… I have NO REASON to be afraid of being pulled over.)

I had my iPod touch on playing music and I’d just picked up lunch and was headed back to work when “the incident” took place. When I pulled over I got really shakey and nervous (see note above). I couldn’t turn off the music on my iPod to save my life and I certainly didn’t have the wherewithal to just TURN THE VOLUME DOWN so I proceeded to sit on my iPod to muffle the sound. I rolled down my drivers side window expecting him to walk up to my door and almost jumped out of my chair when he scared me by knocking on my passenger side window. (btw, I also scare easily.) He laughed at me. I knew he was coming, and he still scared the crap out of me.

So I roll down the window and this is the conversation that followed:

Police Officer: Do you know why I pulled you over?

Me (excited, scared, and trying really hard to not use my little girl voice): Yes, sir, I do… And I’m REALLY sorry!!

P.O.: I know with all this construction everything around here is really crazy but what you did was really dangerous.

(by this time I’ve got giant tears in my eyes, but I’m holding them back. I will not cry…)

Me: Yes, I understand that. I shouldn’t have entered the intersection without knowing I could get out of it. I’m really sorry... I MADE A BAD CHOICE!.

P.O. Do you have your driver’s license? (I hand it to him) Do you still live in Mission Viejo?

Me: Yes

P.O. What brings you to Huntington Beach?

Me: I work at Vanguard University (which, by the way, ladies and gentlemen is next door to the Police Station- we share a parking lot)

P.O.: Oh really? What do you do there?

Me: I do helpdesk

(he looks at me and I know he wants to think I’m lying but he knows I’m telling the truth because really, why would you lie about that?)

P.O. Do you have your Registration and proof of Insurance?

(I’m thinking- here it comes… I'll hand him my paperwork, he'll say “Okay I’ll be right back” and he'll gonna go back there and write me up a big fat ticket. One that I totally deserve. 100%)

I reach for my glove compartment and I can’t open it! I yank it and the handle/lock breaks off in my hand and the glove compartment falls open. I look at him, wide eyed with the handle in my hand. He smirks and asks “Is your car gonna make it?”

I let out a little giggle and say “Yea… I think so”

I give him my registration and proof of insurance and he looks at them both (they’re both current, btw) takes a deep breath and says “I’m gonna let you go. Please. Please. Drive safely.”

Me, yelling to him like an idiot as he walks back to his motorcycle: "Oh, I WILL! I promise!! Thank you! and I REALLY AM SORRY!!"

Stop talking Amber.

focus is key...

2009-03-18T19:37:00.000-07:00

I was having trouble coming up with a new topic to blog about, so my dear friend Shanda suggested that I blog about fireplaces.
Uh... no thanks.

Today I was reminded of a GREAT topic, one that I know a LOT about- locking your keys in your car.

This is something I used to do often. In fact, I did it so often that AAA told me that if I called them again that year, they would charge me $50 to come break into my car for me (that was in March). I wisely decided to have a few spares made for just such an occasion and handed them out to the people closest/nearest to me. One went to my roommate, one to a close friend and one to my parents.
This was probably the smartest thing I ever did.
I've locked my keys in my car at least 20 times. At least. I remember once sitting outside of Alberto's in Riverside (the clean one) for three hours waiting for my friend to get off work...

That was four years ago. It's been over a year since I've locked my in my car... until today. Today was a crazy day at work and I was really looking forward to going home and enjoying a nice relaxing evening. I was going to watch Waiting for Guffman (it came in the mail yesterday!!! I found it online for A PENNY!) while I did some laundry and cleaned up a little bit while I waited to watch Lost.
Key words: going to.
On my way home I thought to myself, "Maybe I'll grab a kids bowl at Wahoo's for dinner" and as I was sitting in the parking lot listening to Coldplay's "Yellow" for the third time on my way home, my mind totally wandered.
When the song was over I grabbed my cell, my wallet and was fiddling with my hands free device as I got out of the car. It was then that I changed my mind- I really wasn't all that hungry so opted for an iced coffee from the Starbucks that was in the same shopping center. A little boy chatted with me while I was in line- there was a dog in the car outside and he wanted to know if it was mine. He wanted to pet it.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that I'm afraid of most dogs (I am) so I just told him no, it wasn't mine and he then showed me how he could hop in a circle backwards without falling down.
He fell down.

It wasn't until after my drink was up and I was headed for the door that I realized that I didn't have my car keys.
The girl at the counter SWORE she saw them in my hands and accused me of flushing them down the toilet I didn't use.
Whatever lady. I think I'd REMEMBER using your nasty bathroom...

I went out to my car and sure enough- there they were. My keys.
Car key in the ignition, hanging on my super cool key chain (ask me to show you sometime- it really is pretty nifty) with my house key, key to my parent's house, key to my Aunt's house, work key, heart thingy my cousin gave me with my name on it from when I was in her wedding, fob to get into the church office, LA Fitness barcode, church barcode, cool little keychain thing that has my brother's airforce photo on it, and a skeleton key from the house I grew up in...

Yup. There they were, just "hanging out" if you will... taunting me from inside my vehicle.

So I hung out at Starbucks until my mom brought me my spare.
I kind of felt like I was in highschool, waiting to be picked up.
While I was waiting for her to meet me, I thought about how lucky I am that I've never given my key to someone who's big on practical jokes....

What made my heart smile today...

2009-03-07T15:20:00.001-08:00

Man-tastic man magnet...

2009-03-04T19:59:00.000-08:00

A friend of mine has the CUTEST little brother who loves to give high fives and gives you the most gigantic RUNNING HUGS and has the sweetest most infectious smile... yup. That kid is his CHICK. MAGNET. (Hi Jon)
Well, I've discovered the female equivalent of a guy having an adorable younger sibling/small puppy/tray of delicious cupcakes... and I found it at Costco.
Someone wonderful (my grandma) gave me a Costco gift card a few months ago, and I've been saving it for something "really good." After much thought and consideration, I decided this last weekend what to use it for.
Yesterday I decided to go to Costco for lunch. After grabbing lunch for less than $3 (heck YES!) I headed inside and made a bee-line for the DVD table. After grabbing the boxed sets of Star Wars Episodes I, II, III and IV, V, VI, I headed to the check-out line.
Let me just say that 3 separate men stopped me on my way out of Costco.
First, the "boxer" (Costco equivalent of a supermarket "bagger") who, since I was only purchasing two items, had nothing to do but stand there and chatter on about how excited he was for me to be "finally" buying these- he wasn't sure how I lived until now. (I honestly don't know how I've made it this long without owning these incredible films... Especially 4,5,6)
We chit-chatted about nerd stuff- about The Hobbit that's expected to be released sometime in 2012 and how (at this point his eyes got as big as saucers, as if to say "you're in luck. there's a cure for you") Clone Wars was already out on DVD "You really need to pick that up, too."
I promised him it was on my "list" and we parted ways.
I had my handbag on my arm and was holding my drink and in my other arm I was holding the movies and as I walked out the door, a man standing in line to return something got VERY excited for me. He pumped his fist in the air and exictedly said "Oh, wow! Today's a big day for you!" I told him it was and that I was looking forward to enjoying my new purchases.
I went back to the food court to grab a napkin for my drippy drink and a man grabbing a straw saw the movies in my hand and said (in the least creepy way possible- he actually looked surprised and proud of himself at the same time) "Are you going home to watch those? Do you want some company?" I smiled and said "No, I'm going back to work now, but thanks for offering to protect me from Darth Vader!"

Yup. This is MUCH more effective than smelling like bacon all day...

Do you smell... bacon?

2009-03-04T19:32:00.000-08:00

At work, my department (IT) is "buddies" with the Business Services Department. We're like the black sheep of Vanguard- no one really cares when things go well, but if stuff goes wrong, it's always our fault. One of the girls in the BSO, Miss Kristi, is expecting a baby and we bet if she was having a boy or a girl. I honestly thought she was having a boy. I still believe she's having a boy. Sonograms lie all the time. But that doesn't matter.
Four other guys (and two girl student workers) and I signed up that she was having a boy and EVERYONE else (all 20 of them) thought she'd be having a girl. Well, the doctor says it's going to be a girl, so the six of us got to make breakfast on Monday for everyone.
When I say "breakfast" I mean bacon, eggs, saussage, pancakes, waffles and mini-muffins (okay, those were store-bought). So guess who got to make saussage and bacon on a hot plate in the other office? ME!!
I had a TON of fun cooking with the boys (even if one of them did whine like a little girl the whole time... I told him to knock it off and threatened to cut him with my serrated spatula) and the girls were all so gracious- it was a really great morning!
When I got back to my desk, one of my IT co-workers walked by my desk and stopped, turned around, walked back to my desk, inhaled deeply and said "I smell bacon..." and floated off to his desk.This happened several times in a five minute period...
I then smelled my clothes. Bacon.
I smelled my arm. Bacon.
I smelled my hair. Bacon.
Bacon. Bacon. Bacon.

A friend of mine stopped by my desk that afternoon. He smiled and said "You smell amazing."
... to which I replied, "Get away from me."

I posted as my status on monday that I smelled like bacon- Lisa insisted that every man reading my facebook status that day would want to make-out with me.
My friend Rick posted this awesome link to a Taco Bell commercial that perfectly depicts the reaction I got from the guys in my office on Monday.

tweet! tweet!

2009-01-28T14:25:00.000-08:00

About two years ago, a guy I "kind of knew" (we'll get to that part later) told me about this company called Despair, Inc. They make demotivational tee shirts, posters and other funny products. They always joke that if you have bad service, they don't want to hear it. They actually call their customer service department "disservice" and they have three really great Twitters that I follow- they make fun of stupid customers and tease each other about whatever they feel like and they're super sarcastic... My kind of company. Anyways. You can build your own calendar on their website out of their extensive line of Demotivators. What's a Demotivator? Here's two of my favorites. If you still don't get it, then stop reading this immediately.

You can see them all here.

This was the second year in a row that I've made a demotivational calendar for my Dad as a Christmas gift, and this year I decided to make one for my Mom and brother as well (one stop shopping, what can I say?). I wanted to make one for myself as well, (I'd had one for 2008) but at the time I didn't want to spend the money.

So today as I was laying in bed staring at the picture I chose for December 2008 trying to find the motivation (ha) to get out of bed, I decided: Today's the day.

So I made my calendar and I was SO excited about it. I even got free shipping!

When you purchase something from Despair, Inc. they ask you if you want to join their Wailing List (which I already receive- I also subscribe to their Twitter) and they also ask how you heard about their company.

Whenever I've ordered from them in the past, I've left that field blank. But not today. Today, I told the truth.

Q: How did you hear about Despair?

A: A stupid guy I went out on two dates with. Telling me about Despair was the only half way interesting thing he ever said.

(True story. I went out with this poor guy twice about two years ago and they were two of the most painfully awkward dates in the history of dating. It was so bad, I can't even remember the guy's name because I blocked it from my memory. Seriously. If you think you have me beat, we should talk.)

So back to me.

About an hour after I placed my order, I logged into my twitter and squealed with excitement.

They twittered my response!!

See that?? @disservice said my response was AWESOME (emphasis NOT mine!)

This is a two-fold accomplishment because a) I didn't get made fun of and b) I made them laugh enough for them to Twitter it!!

BOOYA!!

No, thank YOU

2009-01-12T13:44:00.000-08:00

Okay.
Here's the thing.

There's something that irks me like no other. I really can't figure out why it bothers me so much, except for the fact that it happens a lot and every single time I think to myself "Why is this a big deal??"

It just is.

I email a LOT at my job. People email me requests, I make tasks for them and then I send them work order numbers or tell them what they need to do to fix the problem themselves, etc. I do Helpdesk. It's what I do. I email a lot. So what.
So what?
So what is the fact that 9 out of 10 times, people respond with one of two phrases "Thank you" or "Thanks."
Now, this might not seem like a big deal, except for the fact that I send out close to 200 emails a day. A DAY! (You do the math, I don't feel like it.)

"Thanks."

Really? You sent a whole email just for that? That's all I get? I got excited when I saw that I had an email from you (okay, that's usually not true) and I opened it and all I get is "Thanks"?? Not even a "Wow, thanks so much, I really appreciate that/you etc." I mean, come on. That took ten extra seconds and it's so much more genuine than "thanks."

Oh, and don't even get me started on "thank you" text messages.
The other day I got a text from someone and all it said was "tks" (and I'm not even gonna START with text messages that just say "okay" or worse "k")
UGH!!
It's not that I don't like to be thanked. I do. It's nice to know I'm appreciated and that other people are grateful for something I said, did, gave, information I sent, etc.
But please. Do me a favor...

Don't waste the cyber space.

prayer... and why we're not as important as we think we are

2009-01-09T21:06:00.000-08:00

"Prayer is request. The essence of request, as distinct from compulsion is that it may or may not be granted. And if an infinitely wise Being listens to the requests of finite and foolish creatures, of course He will sometimes grant and sometimes refuse them."
-C.S. Lewis "The Screwtape Letters"

"The infinite value of each human soul is not a christian doctrine. God did not die for man because of some value He perceived in him. The value of each human sould considered simply in itself out of relation to God is zero. As St Paul writes, to have died for valuable men would have been not divine but merely heroic; but God died for sinners. He loved us not because we were lovable, but because He is Love."
-C.S. Lewis

Tagged!

2008-12-30T21:43:00.000-08:00

Lisa tagged me two months ago... I found out today because I forgot about blogs for a while.
So here are some little factoids that you might not know about me.

1) My eyes look really green when I've been crying. Weird, I know. It's probably because they get bloodshot and the redness brings out the green in them.

2) I keep a copy of e.e. cummings' poem "I carry your heart with me" written on an index card in my wallet. When I see it, I'm reminded to pray for my brother. I gave him a copy of it a few years ago (I doubt he still has it), but I've kept it since.

3) Lisa says I have the spiritual gift of Facebooking.... Maybe it's because I do nothing all day and keep facebook open on my desktop so I can't really help but see pretty much everything that happens on facebook. I'm not stalking you. I swear.

4) I can touch my nose with my tongue. (think: Gene Simmons) Yea, I'm awesome.

5) I've been punched in the face by children while riding the tram to Disneyland on three separate occasions.

6) I love Neil Diamond. Love him. I recently went to see him in concert and made a tee-shirt to wear that had a big red rhinestone heart and sequined letters that said "Amber <3's>

There were TONS when I saw him three years ago at the Staples center... I guess the people in Ontario are more classy than the LA crowd... Maybe sparkly shirts are beneath them? Not me. As a side note, I'll be sporting my "I heart Neil" tee for Valentine's day and I might even bust it out for Mother's day- Mom'll be so proud...

7) If you call me Ambie-pambie or Ambular, I'll punch you in the face. Or Bambie. Or Bamber. Or Amber-bamber. (That one'll get you hit two times). But you MAY call me by any of the following nicknames that I've acquired over the years that don't make me want to vomit: A-1, Amber #2, AmBear, Ber (say: burr), Ambrosia, Amberpants or Amber-Baker-the-touchdown-maker (this is a reference to my studliness when I played ultimate frisbee in college... nothing inappropriate, ladies and gentelman).

I tag Annie and Amybear.

5 days and counting...

2008-12-29T22:39:00.000-08:00

I was sitting behind him when this picture was taken in 2006.I'm currently working on my "I heart Neil" t-shirt to wear to the concert. I'm not gonna lie, it's pretty sweet.

Neil Diamond must be pretty excited to see me in 5 days!!

Compliments

2008-12-28T23:41:00.000-08:00

Do you ever get uncomfortable when people give you compliments? I do. I always get nervous and am never sure how to properly (and appropriately) receive the compliment. Sometimes if it's a "boy" it makes me really nervous and I start blubbering like an idiot (shocker, I know). Lately I've noticed that I've started "bouncing back" the compliment to the compliment giver (i.e. They say "You look very nice" and I'll say "No YOU look really nice" or they say "You have a really great smile" and I'll say, "No, YOU have a really great smile!") This sometimes gets a laugh and sometimes makes things VERY uncomfortable... depending on the person and the compliment.
One thing I've always been told is that an adult should be able to gracefully accept a compliment. I've been especially mindful of this lately, and in observing my reactions and interactions with people, I've learned something about myself: I need words of affirmation. Although sometimes I get nervous accepting a compliment, when someone tells me they like me, I've done something well or they think I'm great, I bloom like a flower in April. I thrive when I recieve words of affermation.
Tonight as I was driving home, I started thinking about some notable compliments I've recieved. Some sweet, some funny, they've stuck with me (some for years).
So here they are... Those affirmations that have become a part of me...

The compliment I hear most often and really couldn't live without:
"I think you're great"
One of my besties (yes, that's right. I just said "bestie") tells me this pretty much every day. It's one of those things that I hear her say to, well, everyone, but I don't care. I know that she really thinks I'm great and is always going to be my biggest fan (that is, until I meet that "special guy") and is always cheering me on to the finish line, both literally and figuratively.

Most surprising compliment:
"I appreciate your honest answers- I need you around for that kind of feedback all day."
I'm usually all about helping people save face and feel good about themselves. If you sing a song and it was awful, I would probably still tell you that you did a great job because I know it was really difficult and I wouldn't want to crush you. But there are some people in my life who I either respect too much or they just give me diarrhea of the mouth and I can't not tell the truth- no b.s. here. These people help me better understand that honesty really IS the best policy and that my opinion really does count. To them. Not everyone.

Most awkward/poorly phrased but sweet while still being kind of creepy compliment:
When I worked at Starbucks, I would often have to be at work at 4am. One customer once said to me something I will never forget as long as I live. As soon as he realized what he'd said, he got really embarrassed, but that's neither here nor there. What he MEANT was that I was sweet and had a great attitude without being annoyingly peppy first thing in the morning.. But what he SAID was:
"You seem like a really great person to wake up next to and have a cup of coffee with."
(guys please note: It is never a good idea to tell your barista you want to wake up next to her. Ever. It's very awkward.)

Compliment I don't necessarily agree with but appreciate so much because I want it to be true:
"You're a really good and clear communicator"
Lisa tells me this often. I don't necessarily think it's true, but I strive to make it so. I often feel like I'm speaking a different language and that I'm not making any sense, but I really try to make sure that I communicate clearly so that all questions are already answered (I abhor conversations that talk topics/situations to death) so there's no confusion. It doesn't always work this way, especially when I get nervous. Which is often.

Hands down, the greatest compliment I've ever received:
"You're the voice in my head telling me I can do it."
Wow. I still tear up everytime I think of this. When I first met my old roommate, we actually worked together. She was "cute" and the boys we worked with were all pretty sweet on her and wanted to be "gentelmanly" and never made her/taught her how to do anything at the store. She looked to me to teach her because I wasn't gonna let her get off so easy just because she's cute. Whenever she would get frustrated or would make a mistake I would always say to her, "You can do it."
She told me months later that whenever she'd have trouble with something, she would hear me saying to her "You can do it" in her head, and she knew nothing was impossible.
I didn't remember any of that. It was a sobering reminder to me that I needed to be more mindful about encouraging others.

What about you? What's the greatest compliment you've ever received? Given? Do you struggle with accepting compliments? Giving them? Hmmm?

Really?

2008-12-22T10:14:00.000-08:00

http://www.firemeetsdesire.com/

I have no words...

Quote of the day...

2008-11-03T11:42:00.000-08:00

"Look, I've made my peace with the fact that everyone who calls here is a notch above brain dead, and that the pennies I am thrown each week are in exchange for me dealing with these people in a nonviolent manner. And usually that is fine, but today, sorry lady, I have ennui."
-Michel, Gilmore Girls

I yearbooked myself!

2008-09-14T09:23:00.000-07:00

clipping coupons... oh gross...

2008-09-11T18:18:00.000-07:00

I have a confession. I'm a coupon clipper.
It's the only reason I'd ever buy a sunday paper.
I have an incredibly sweet and thoughtful friend who knows this about me and loves me anyways. The "loves me anyways" part is because I have an embarassingly full wallet with coupons that are crumpled up and bursting out the sides (half of which are expired, I might add).
Every week he swipes the coupons out of his dad's sunday paper so that I can clip coupons to save money. It saves me a dollar and a quarter every week!
Well, today I was clipping coupons and saw an add for some yummy looking beef so I cut it right out and added it to my growing stack of coupons. I then flipped the page, and then flipped another.
I suddenly felt a rush of panic and practically tore the pages trying to get back to the ad for the beef. And then I saw it. The brand: Alpo.
My stommach turned.
Did I really just cut out a coupon for DOG FOOD??
I came pretty close to vomiting all over my coupons at the thought of actually WANTING to eat what turned out to be dog food...
In my defense: 1) I do not own a dog and 2) Nowhere on the advertisement was there a) a picture of a dog b) the words "dog food" or c) a pet dish.. the beef was on a PEOPLE PLATE for goodness sakes!

That doesn't really change things does it? I still clipped a coupon for dog food. How embarassing.

yet another...

2008-08-15T16:24:00.000-07:00

Pandora is amazing. If you don't know what it is, seriously, check it out. I'm always finding new bands, new favorite songs and rediscovering forgotten tunes.
Today an especially endearing song came up on my Passion station (I have a radio station for practically every possible mood.. I LOVE TECHNOLOGY!!)
This is a song by Downhere, a bad I've never heard of before but is sure to become a new fave.
I love the simplicity and directness of the song.

All the Reasons Why

Well we're thrown out on a stage
To find our paths to yesterday
When the world was so much smaller
And we were free, free to be

Well we all moved to the big town
And we all put on the big sound
Truly what would we sing for
If it wasn't for Your Grace

CHORUS
And we sing 'cause You are bigger
Than any reference we could make
And we dance until we're tired
'Cause we know Your name is great

On our journey give us Grace
As we follow lines Your hand will trace
You have called us to a crown
But for a time, to taste the ground
Give us edge by ones You love
Shrewd as snakes and harmless as doves
Songs will always find their endings
But Your story never dies, that's why?

And we sing 'cause You are bigger
Than any reference we could make
And we dance until we're tired
'Cause we know Your name is great

And we sing 'cause You are bigger
Than any reference we could make
And we dance until we're tired
'Cause we know Your name is great

cough.... sniffle... uhhghh....

2008-07-22T09:19:00.000-07:00

I haven't been feeling well lately. I have a summer cold. No, I'm not in denial- it really is a summer cold. (five points to anyone who gets the reference.. hee hee)

For the last two days I've been answering the phones at Vanguard and here's what I say,
"Vanguard University, this is Amber. How can I help you??"

Now plug your nose, and say that aloud. That's what I sound like.

A lady just responded to me saying "Hi Eeeber, can I please be transferred to ..."

Disneyland Day

2008-07-19T16:43:00.000-07:00

My mom convinced my Grandma to come visit for a few days so I took a vacation day and spent it with them at Disneyland.

I can't remember the last time I spent the whole day there, but we had so much fun. We got there at 9:45 (just before California Adventure Opened) and got in line early for the new ToyStory Mania ride. We rode ToyStory Mania (oh my goodness... cutest ride EVER!), Soaring Over California, went to Turtle Talk and saw Aladdin (all before lunch!). We then headed over to Disneyland for lunch and got seats to watch Billy Hill and the Hillbillies (my mom's favorite show). I've seen this show tons of times, usually begrudgingly (same songs, same lame jokes, and I guess the origional guy (who was really funny) doesn't work there anymore... ). Everytime I go with my mom, I hope and pray that they do my favorite part, where they play each other's instruments, but they haven't done it in YEARS... Well, THEY DID IT! And it was AWESOME!

It totally made an already wonderful day even more wonderful!
After Billy Hill we rode Pirates of the Caribbean, the Jungle Cruise and the Casey Junior train (The short but ridiculously slow moving line was NOT worth the wait, but it was still super cute) I took a few pictures that looked like I was in a helicopter...

We then met Brent for dinner at Storyteller's Cafe (let me just say that I HATE it when places change their menu...). I orderd the Pirate Punch (Minute Maid light raspberry lemonade) with a light up Tinker Bell and color changing straw. I got laughed at (twice) by the waiter who served it to me.

It was such a fun day- I was so blessed to get to spend a whole day with my mom and grandma just having fun and laughing and talking.

what the....

2008-07-19T16:30:00.000-07:00

Last Thursday I spent the day at Disneyland with my Mom and Grandma. Brent met us for dinner and we headed over to Disneyland to ride Buzz Lightyear's Astro Blasters and watch the fireworks. As we entered the line, I saw this (see below) and abandoned my group to chase after this couple to take a picture... I chased them as long as I could in an attempt to get a good picture, but alas, the battery in my camera was dying and they all came out super blurry. Not so blurry that you can't see what it is...

That's right. These people brought a PRAM to Disneyland... Thank goodness I was there to document it.

It's Hereditary...

2008-07-18T15:43:00.000-07:00

More than once, I've been confronted on something that, until yesterday, I was unable to accept as truth. People in my life have told me it's a problem, and that they're concerned. I just brush them off, telling them it's NOT a problem, I have it under control, and to mind their own beeswax.
Yesterday I spent the day with my mother and grandmother at Disneyland. After observing their habits and behaviors, I had no choice but to be honest with myself about what I've been denying for so long. It was like looking in a mirror (or two). I realized that this habit has been passed down from generation to generation. We all share the same problem.

None of us can walk in a straight line.

I'm serious.
Watching the three of us walking (or weaving) through Disneyland, you would have thought we'd first stopped at the wine tasting booth at California Adventure... (we had not, I might add)
It's nice to know that it's not just me.
It's nice to know that the other women in my life struggle with this.
It's nice to have someone who understands when the men in our lives refuse to walk next to us...

mmm...

2008-07-07T16:02:00.000-07:00

'nuff said!

In the name of.... Vanity

2008-07-02T11:28:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I used some new lip gloss... the kind that plumps your lips up and makes you look like you might be related to Goldie Hawn...
Firstly, let me just say, that I've never experienced pain like that before.. my mom used to tell me when I was little "You've gotta suffer* to be beautiful."
But this was different. It was like the slow burning of acid on your lips... But I'm a tough girl, so I stuck it out.
Today my lips STILL hurt. But this time it's my mouth and the area of my face AROUND my lips that's itchy, still burning and red and puffy. I kind of look like I ate something I'm allergic to (think Hitch... just not as severe).
I'm beginning to think having big full beautiful lips just isn't worth it...

*Suffering includes but is not limited to: burning your forehead whilest curling your bangs, sleeping in curlers, waxing, shaving, wearing uncomfortable undergarments, NOT eating that cookie, and putting snake venom on your lips to make them big and beautiful.

sometimes there are no answers...

2008-05-22T14:49:00.000-07:00

For the Luceros and the Chapmans

Natalie Grant - Held
Two months is too little.
They let him go.
They had no sudden healing.
To think that providence would
Take a child from his mother while she prays
Is appalling.

Who told us we’d be rescued?
What has changed and why should we be saved from nightmares?
We’re asking why this happens
To us who have died to live?
It’s unfair.

Chorus:
This is what it means to be held.
How it feels when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive.
This is what it is to be loved.
And to know that the promise was

When everything fell
We’d be held.

This hand is bitterness.
We want to taste it, let the hatred NUMB our sorrow.
The wise hands opens slowly to lilies of the valley and tomorrow.

(Chorus)
This is what it means to be held.
How it feels when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive.
This is what it is to be loved.
And to know that the promise was

When everything fell
We’d be held.

Bridge:
If hope is born of suffering.
If this is only the beginning.
Can we not wait for one hour watching for our Savior?

(Chorus)
This is what it means to be held.
How it feels when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive.
This is what it is to be loved.
And to know that the promise was

When everything fell
We’d be held.

change

2008-05-22T14:42:00.000-07:00

"I have dreamed in my life, dreams that have stayed with me
ever after, and changed my ideas; they have gone through
and through me, like wine through water, and altered the
color of my mind."
-Emily Bronte

Have You Ever...

2008-05-13T11:09:00.002-07:00

this song just popped up on my pandora station and gave me chills... go right now and listen to it. go. why are you still reading this??

Have You Ever
Written by Shawn McDonald

Have you ever wanted to be someone else
Have you ever wanted just to be someone
Have you ever wanted to reach your dreams
Have you ever wanted life to be more than it seems
I have tasted of a love so wide
That it stops all my time
I have tasted of a love so deep
That it blows my mind
Have you ever wanted to reach up and touch the sky
Have you ever wanted to pack it up and say good-bye
Have you ever wanted someone to care
Have you ever wanted someone to be there
He is sweet, He is sweet
What your looking for
Is my sweet, sweet Jesus
What You're looking for
Is my sweet Lord

Neil Diamond week on American Idol

2008-04-29T21:09:00.000-07:00

Dear America,
If you send anybody home tomorrow who's name is not Jason Castro or David Archuletta, I will scream and yell and be very angry and... pain... lots of pain...
You've been warned.
Sincerely,
Amber

P.S. David Cook, you are amazing. Two times.

so fun... even if it does look like Jess made me cry...

2008-04-18T09:08:00.000-07:00

*notice that i actually ranked in the top 100 of the day!!! so exciting!

yikes...

2008-04-15T10:43:00.000-07:00

don't drink the kool-aid...

the dictionary defines jealousy (in reference to God) as: intolerant of unfaithfulness or rivalry

*this would be why my Aunt Nancy bought me a greek/hebrew study bible when I turned 19... so I could research for myself the things that don't make sense and dive deeper to see what scripture literally means...

C.S. Lewish quote of the day

2008-03-18T13:09:00.001-07:00

"Certain things, if not seen as lovely or detestable, are not being correctly seen at all."

My Mom

2008-03-17T09:59:00.000-07:00

On Sunday morning I went over to my parent's house to help out and organize some of my Mom's cupboards (one of my Operation: Raise $$ for Taxes jobs that has come up)
So as I was figuring out which of the Jell-o molds to keep from my grandma's 60's Tupperware collection, my mom says to me "Amber, I would have let you borrow my DVD player"
huh?
"uh... what are you talking about?"
"You said you couldn't watch a DVD on your TV because it wasn't working."
"uh... what?"
"Amber. I read your blog."
I'm so glad Amy (my cousin) was standing there to witness this because I NEVER thought I would hear these words come out of my mothers mouth.

So Ladies, and Gentelman (all 9 of you) I would like to welcome to my blog my newest reader: My MOM!!!

Mom: this now officially makes you cool :) Love you!

yet again... nothing to do...

2008-03-11T11:51:00.000-07:00

ok, so tomorrow afternoon, thursday afternoon and ALL DAY FRIDAY I will be the switchboard operator at my lovely workplace.
this means that aside from waiting for the phone to ring, I won't be doing much of anything, especially since it's spring break and it's like a ghost town on campus!

Last time I operated the switchboard I was able to catch up on LOST, but now i'm not sure what to do! I don't have any tv-on-dvd I'm dying to see and I don't have tons of movies I want to watch ALL DAY.....
any suggestions?

sad...

2008-03-05T14:08:00.000-08:00

someone made a joke today referencing a "flux capacitor" and I had to ask what that meant..... I missed out on a lot in the 80's- I have a lot of catching up to do!

The Namesake

2008-03-05T11:24:00.000-08:00

Favorite movie quote from "The Namesake" (2006)

(after Gogol discovers that his wife, Moushumi, has been having an affair with a frenchman)

Moushumi: Maybe it's not enough that we're both Bengali.
Gogol: That's not why I love you.

Excellent movie. A little slow at times, but the cinematography is fabulous, the plotline is gut-wrenchingly honest and true to life...
Go watch it.

put that in your pipe and smoke it

2008-02-28T14:08:00.000-08:00

So last night Brent and I went to Baskin Robbins. I eat there approximately two times per year, both in the month of February because that's when they have my favorite ice cream flavor of all time: Love Potion #31. It's white chocolate and raspberry ice cream with semi sweet chocolate flecks, a raspberry ribbon and raspberry filled chocolate hearts... so yummy.
Sometimes when you give blood, they'll give you a "pint for a pint" coupon to get a pint of ice cream. I had one in my pocketbook and Brent surprised me and gave me his. Now I had TWO! I could get TWO pints of my favorite ice cream to save and eat another month besides February! So I asked the girl if I could use both, but get them in one container (as in, a bigger container?) she said no, I'd be losing ice cream, so I said okay.. we then walked over to the refrigerator where they have pre-packaged quarts of ice cream and they had one of my favorite flavor! So I asked the girl "can I use my coupons to get one of these?" (referring to the quart of ice cream)
She said "uh... no, I don't think so"
I said, "oh, are they different?"
:)
yes, I asked that poor girl if there was a difference between two pints and one quart and got laughed at..
As it turns out, there are two pints to a quart.
guess who's laughing now?

swell season..

2008-02-24T19:51:00.000-08:00

I should be reading, but instead I'm watching the accadamy awards. and crying like a baby.

Markita Irglova and Glann Hansard just won an accadamy award for their song "Falling Slowly" from the film "Once." (If you haven't seen it, stop what you're doing, and go watch it. Go! Now!) Anyways, as they were announcing the nominees, I began thinking about how I came to love the album that inspired the movie...

"Once" came out in theaters last summer, and though I couldn't get anyone to go with me to see the film and for some reason I didn't want to go alone (I'm usually a good solo movie goer, often I prefer it). I knew the music was supposed to be amazing, so I bought the album that inspired the film on itunes. Best ten bucks I've ever spent.

That record helped me process a difficult time in my life and remains very close to my heart. It was so special, seeing them win for such a beautiful song!

less like haunting, more like remember...

2008-02-14T10:15:00.000-08:00

I found a new blog today.
Well, actually, it found me. and in it are some of the most thoughtful, candid, transparent and honest entries from a man who's heart's desire is to follow hard after the heart of God and to be found in him.
As I was reading this blog, I came across a comment that struck me like a baseball bat across the back of my head:
Sometimes it feels like my memories are killing my soul.

Sometimes memories hurt. Sometimes they're terrifying. Sometimes embarrassing. Sometimes haunting.

I need to be aware: where is my focus? Who am i giving my thoughts to? Am I holding every thought captive and bathing it in prayer?
am i allowing my past and my guilt to dictate my future?
i constantly have to stop and remind myself "no! i'm forgiven, i'm freed, i'm redeemed! that's not who i am anymore"

thank you, jesus...

Alan Jackson, you make me cry every time...

2008-02-11T16:18:00.000-08:00

Like red on a rose
When your lips first smiled at me
I was captured instantly
To each his own

Like blue in the sky
The gaze of your willing eyes
Touched something deep inside
The truth be known

That I love you like only little children love pennies
And I love you ‘cause I know that I can’t do anything wrong
You’re where I belong
Like red on a rose

And I love you like only little children love pennies
And I love you like good times of which I’ve known many
And I love you ‘cause I know you give me a heart of my own
You make my blood flow
Like red on a rose

even then

2008-02-08T08:06:00.000-08:00

It's a fear that keeps me wide awake
In the middle of the night
When the expectations are too great
And the bar gets raised too high
So I do the best with what I've got
And hope that no one knows
That I strain to see how high I can
Try to stand on these toes
Until I'm measured, but You know better

Thank you, Jesus
Even when you see us just as we are-
fragile, frail, and so far from who we want to be
So thank you, Jesus
even when the pieces are broken and small
dreams shatter and scatter like the wind
Thank you, even then

So I put aside the masquerade
And admit that I am not okay
Which may not be the thing to say
But I'm not ashamed to need You more each day

why I like working with all guys...

2008-01-18T08:10:00.000-08:00

because you can chop all your hair off and become a blond and look like a Stepford wife and they'll still run into stuff and say things like "uh, your hair. it's different. it looks... really good."
:)

sickness and disease

2008-01-16T16:24:00.001-08:00

So I'm back at work this week, feeling REALLY good. That is until Grossie Josie came into my office, came around my desk and coughed RIGHT IN MY FACE.
And it wasn't one of those fake "I'm pretending to clear my throat because I'm uncomfortable" coughs. No. This was a deep, hacking, "I'm going to be sick in bed with pnemonia for two weeks" coughs.

As I was sanitizing my hands after she left, I had to resist the temptation to ingest the sanitizer to kill the bacterias and viruses that had entered my body because that girls mom didn't teach her it wasn't polite to cough in peoples faces.

Disneyland Part 2

2007-12-20T16:47:00.000-08:00

He DOES exist...

Disneyland Part 1

2007-12-20T15:24:00.000-08:00

One of my favorite things is to go to Disneyland. Brent is an especially fun Disneyland companion (except for the fact that he doesn't like rides... he's getting better, though)
One of our favorite rides is the train- it takes you all around the park. It's nice, especially when I had mono but didn't know I had mono and would be totally exhausted for no reason- sitting down for 20 minutes made me feel a whole lot better. One of the last times we rode the train, we sat behind two ladies who hadn't been to Disneyland in over 20 years and were having dinner at Club 33 (and clearly had NO IDEA what a big deal that was... Brent and I made sure they knew that that was a big deal).
They were discussing where to go until dinner time and what to do afterwards and didn't know where anything was, so I offered them my map and we got to talking about how different Disneyland is now and out of nowhere comes Edward. Edward was working on the train that day and within 30 seconds not only did he manage to totally interject himself into our conversation by telling the ladies what they should and shouldn't do, but he also managed to shatter my dreams of watching my children in the Jedi Training Academy... he heard that it was going away in the next 3 years (I bet he made that number up)... anyways- he talked our ears off for the rest of our train ride.
When we got off the train I remember saying to Brent "Was that guy for real??"
Yes. He was.
We saw him again a few weeks later, and I talked Brent into taking a picture of me with him in the background so that I could blog about it, and again, he couldn't help but interject himself into our business.

This picture so perfectly captures his personality.
Here's Edward elfed.
He's a sweet guy, and he gave me a great picture-story to tell.

oh wow...

2007-12-11T10:40:00.000-08:00

Last night, I found my first gray hair...
at first I wanted to have the typical "freak out" response, where I have a BIG and LOUD reaction and make a huge deal about my "fading beauty" and how I'm "reminded of my own mortality"... oh wait- that IS the reaction I had...
but this morning I was thinking about it and I thought "Is it really that big of a deal?"...
no. not really.
But still...

Juno

2007-12-07T16:20:00.000-08:00

I can't wait to see this movie...

"Juno has an implicit pro-life sensibility: Life is life, and deserves to be nurtured, even -- if not especially -- when everything around it is broken."

So what do you think, homeskillet? Wanna go?

Did you hear the big news?

2007-12-07T14:03:00.000-08:00

I just found out that I have readers in SEVEN other countries!
So exciting!

oh gross...

2007-12-03T16:23:00.000-08:00

Courtney inspired me to post this:

Dear Jessica,

2007-12-03T14:35:00.000-08:00

Ever since you blogged about eating lunch at Trader Joe's, I've been thinking about it. In fact, I think about it every day at lunchtime and think "I wish I knew how to get to Trader Joe's from here."
Well, today I went.
And it was every bit as glorious as you'd described it.
So thank you, my dear Jessica, for a wonderful recommendation!
Love,
me

jesus....

2007-11-30T15:17:00.001-08:00

You are my holiday
You are right in the middle of me
You are my hideaway
You are home

I’m calling out your name
Oh my holiday
You make my heart new
And I love you!
What it is I’m trying to say
Is you are my favorite part of me

Holiday by Shane and Shane

update

2007-11-28T08:19:00.000-08:00

Hello Lovers,
Sorry. I haven't felt much like blogging lately. Not that i don't have things or events to blog about, but I haven't been feeling all that hot and just didn't feel like it.
As it turns out, there's an actual, legitimate reason that I have been sick for so long- I have mono.
Actually, it's an Epstein Barr Virus Infection. It's the virus that causes mono, and less than 10% of people with EBV have ANY symptoms at all- it usually lies dormant. (Did you know you can be a carrier of mono and not have it? That's what EBV is- most adults have been infected at some point in their lives, which is why it's uncommon for older adults to have mono- they've already been exposed to the virus)
But in my lucky case, I have all the wonderful symptoms of mono- persistent sore throat, fever (first time I've ever had a fever over 99.... not fun), body aches, night sweats, swollen lymph nodes, nausea, and exhaustion (It's nice to know that there's actually something going on in my body rather than feeling like a weakling for being totally and completely exhausted from walking across the mall)...
But it's just easier to call it mono than to say "I have what causes mono, and I have all the symptoms of mono, but it's not actually mono... "
So that's the latest and greatest.
Love you all,
Amber

*Please disregard most of this post: I found out on Friday that it is indeed Mononucleosis.

not my best score, but by far my best picture

2007-11-26T09:58:00.001-08:00

is it five yet?

2007-11-16T16:53:00.001-08:00

five minutes until time to go home and I am pubic, pubic, pubic.

what I've learned (or re-learned) in the last week..

2007-11-15T19:22:00.000-08:00

if you leave the unenclosed room and people can still smell you... you're wearing too much perfume.
what may be "not that big of a deal" to you can mean the world to someone else...
every day is a gift, nothing is promised, every breath is a gift from God.
I am in control of nothing. Except my attitude.
I must strive to put flesh and blood on the Reconciliation of all things...
Laughing makes it better, no matter how much it hurts

Christmas time!!!!

2007-11-12T16:45:00.000-08:00

41 Days 'till Christmas!!!

check out this ADORABLE website

Cutest Christmas Website Ever

It even has a place where you can see if you'll be on the Naughty or Nice List and print out a certificate!

Kristi put hers on her refrigerator!

TEMPTATION!!

2007-11-12T09:36:00.000-08:00

This weekend I went to Bath and Body Works and bought something I wouldn't normally buy- food flavored lip gloss.
I generally don't enjoy scents and smells that smell like food- I strongly dislike vanilla flavored anything. I know a lot of people love this flavor- I just don't.
So I'm at Bath and Body Works, smelling my way around the store and I get to the "Temptations" table- where they have flavors like Cinnamon Roll, Gingerbread and Cherry Pie. I guess you could say I'm kind of a glutton for punishment- for some reason whenever I see these flavors, I can't help but smell them. I usually end up with my face wrinkled up saying "oh gross" "that's foul" "smell this, it smells like feet" and other very classy remarks laced with expletives so loudly that it makes Brent blush...
So I got to the Pecan Passion flavor and I had no words.I loved it.
I wanted to drink it.
No really- I was seriously tempted to drink a 3-in-1 body wash/shampoo/bubble bath... like a 3-year-old.
So, I bought the lip gloss.
It doesn't really taste like it smells... it has more of a lipstick-y taste to it than the glorious Pecan Passion aroma it possesses... but it's still amazing.

overheard...

2007-11-06T09:31:00.000-08:00

*"shut your mouth... You're the stupid retard who takes everything so damn personal... "

*Woman on monorail talking to her 18-month-old son who is screaming in my ears: "Let's count! Ready? A, B, C, D...." me (to Brent, but too loudly because I have no class):"that's not counting..."

*Q:"Where's Jon?" A: (yelled across the office) "Oh, he's in Derek's hole."

only me...

2007-11-01T15:15:00.000-07:00

So I'm a nail-biter.

I admit it.

In the past I've worn acrylic nails to try to break myself of the habit but it never really worked- when I thought I was "cured" I'd have the falsies taken of and I'd start right back up again. But lately, I've been trying to "quit" on my own and I'm quite proud of my progress. (progress is measured in nail length... no bleeding fingers=good news)

anywho...

I currently have fairly long, nice nails. and they're real.

and they're becoming a problem.

Today at lunch I saw a co-worker of mine waiting for his wife to pick him up and I waved. And I kept waving- I was in a silly mood.

That is, until my hand came so close to my face that one of my nice, new, long fingernails caught the inside of my nose causing me to somehow (simultaneously) scratch and punch myself in the face...

only I could manage that one...

yup

2007-11-01T13:40:00.000-07:00

it's true

LOST!

2007-11-01T08:50:00.000-07:00

this blog includes some bits of "tmi" (too much info)... You've been warned

Brent's blog about Disneyland reminded me that I had not blogged about my scary experience last week.
Sunday's are my favorite because we usually get to go to Disneyland. Hear me: I'm not a crazy Disney freak- I don't own a t-shirt with Mickey on it, I don’t have Pooh Bear bumper sticker or a Minnie Mouse license plate cover. I just like going and it’s a fun date-night that doesn’t get old.
So every Sunday I have this “parking lot ritual” where I go through my purse and pull out the following and put them strategically in my pockets or nicely ask Brent to hold them for me: chapstick/lip gloss, Disneyland pass, drivers license, debit card, Kaiser card (just in case), and an Advil or a migraine pill (I often get headaches) and for some reason this week I decided to bring about two dollars in quarters. Every week I wrestle with the dilemma taking my cell phone with me or leaving it in the car. I usually end up leaving it in the car (Brent has two, so it’s okay).

This week was a little different. We ate a late breakfast and got to Disneyland around 3:30 (no lunch yet). In the car I took some medicine because I was starting to get a migraine. First thing we did when we arrived was go to Woody’s Round up and decorated Halloween cookies. (and by that I mean we decorated aah cookie)
After that my tummy was starting to hurt from taking medicine without food, so we went over to Gapetto’s café and I got a toddler meal which was just the cutest thing ever. It came with about four ounces of macaroni and cheese (which wasn’t bad- it’s one of my favorite foods so I can say that with confidence) some no sugar added apple sauce and a baby bottle of water.

We then rode two rides (I think) and then my tummy started hurting. Not like, “oh mommy, my tummy hurts I can’t go to school today” but like my stomach was being ripped to shreds from the inside out. I thought I was going to die. Or explode, then die.

But I couldn’t “go”.

So we decide to go and ride pirates before we use our fastpasses for Haunted Mansion. Then suddenly: I needed to use the restroom.

So I turn to brent and say, “I have to go to the restroom, I’ll meet you guys at the exit” and then take off for the ladies room to pay my water bill.

I take care of my business then mosey on over to the exit for Pirates of the Carribean. And wait. And wait. And wait. (Remember: I don’t have my cell phone, so I don’t know how long I’ve been waiting- I have a terrible concept of time)
So then I think: “oh no, what if they really WEREN’T going on Pirates first! What if they went on Haunted Mansion??” So I run over to the exit for Haunted Mansion- they’re not there. Of course they’re not there. We had FOUR fastpasses. There were FOUR of us. They wouldn’t use them without me… duh.
So I run back over to the exit for Pirates. They’re STILL not there. So I wait, and wait, and wait. I’m starting to panic. “Where are they? What if they came off the ride while I was at Haunted mansion and then they went over to the bathroom to wait for me? What if I can’t find them? How will I get home? I don’t know Brent’s phone number. OMG I’M LOST AT DISNEYLAND!!!”
So I calmly walk over to the hostess for Blue Bayou and say “I’m lost.” She smiles. I’m a 24 year old woman. Who’s lost. So I ask her, “Is there a pay phone nearby?”
I’ll give you one guess as to who I called with the change that I HAPPENED to have in my pocket... (thank you, Jesus)
Yup. My Dad.
Here’s me, after having to call him three times to get him to pick up (nutso people call him all the time so he doesn’t answer strange numbers):
“Daddy it’s me! I’m lost at Disneyland! I don’t have my phone and I don’t know Brent’s number! Can you staffnet him and call him and tell him where I am??”
At that point, Andrew walked right up to me and I was no longer lost.

It was pretty scary. So now I have Brent’s phone number memorized, and the four of us have a meeting place “just in case we ever get lost again” and by “we” they mean “me”.

because I know you care

2007-10-31T10:31:00.001-07:00

22 days until Thanksgiving

55 days until Christmas

Dear Professor Isaacs,

2007-10-30T13:25:00.000-07:00

Remember that paper I wrote about the symbolism in Harry Potter and speculating as to the author's intentions? And remember how you wouldn't say in class what you thought but then told me in your office that you agreed with me?
We were right.
Feels good, huh?
Amber

my day

2007-10-24T20:18:00.000-07:00

6am wake up. re-set alarm for 6:30 (my hair is clean, i can shower tonight)
6:30 hit snooze
6:45 get out of bed and get ready
7am leave for work
7:05 get gas
7:13 get coffee
7:21 on road for work
8am start work
12pm lunch (Rubio's. I ate a churro. Decided it would taste REALLY good if only it was spicy, so I dipped it into my salsa. not bad... but very weird, i realize)
1pm back to work- spend all afternoon on phone with panicked parents convinced that their children's dorms are on fire
2:30 classes cancelled until monday- the phone calls pour in.
4:48 attempt to leave to go home
4:49 overhear phone conversation between my supervisor and someone very important that after hours phone message needs to be changed... i'm the only person who can do this...
5:05 overhear my supervisor say, "but we don't really have anyone who can work the switchboard until 11pm......"
(wanna bet?)
6:15 Amazing boyfriend brings me dinner
11pm I get to go home

don't worry. this is actually working out to be a pretty sweet deal... ;)

brent

2007-10-24T14:49:00.000-07:00

oh jeez...

2007-10-24T13:37:00.000-07:00

So I was having a conversation with someone this morning, well, it was really just me talking and the other person smiling and listening and occasionally nodding- and it hit me- "I'm being ridiculously annoying right now"

Has that ever happened to you? Have you ever caught yourself being that weirdo?

it happens to me often...

Rules for Work

2007-10-24T13:35:00.000-07:00

1. Never give me work in the morning. Always wait until 4:00 and then bring it to me. The challenge of a deadline is refreshing.
2. If it's really a rush job, run in and interrupt me every 10 minutes to inquire how it's going. That helps. Or even better, hover behind me, advising me at every keystroke.
3. Always leave without telling anyone where you're going. It gives me a chance to be creative when someone asks where you are.
4. If my arms are full of papers, boxes, books, or supplies, don't open the door for me. I need to learn how to function as a paraplegic and opening doors with no arms is good training in case I should ever be injured and lose all use of my limbs.
5. If you give me more than one job to do, don't tell me which is priority. I am psychic.
6. Do your best to keep me late. I adore this office and really have nowhere to go or anything to do. I have no life beyond work.
7. If a job I do pleases you, keep it a secret. If that gets out, it could mean a promotion.
8. If you don't like my work, tell everyone. I like my name to be popular in conversations. I was born to be whipped.
9. If you have special instructions for a job, don't write them down. In fact, save them until the job is almost done. No use confusing me with useful information.
10. Never introduce me to the people you're with. I have no right to know anything. In the corporate food chain, I am plankton. When you refer to them later, my shrewd deductions will identify them.
11. Be nice to me only when the job I'm doing for you could really change your life and send you straight to managers' hell.
12. Tell me all your little problems. No one else has any and it's nice to know someone is less fortunate. I especially like the story about having to pay so much in taxes on the bonus check you received for being such a good manager.
13. Wait until my yearly review and THEN tell me what my goals SHOULD have been. Give me a mediocre performance rating with a cost of living increase. I'm not here for the money anyway.

This makes me laugh so hard... it also makes me extremely appreciative and grateful for my boss.

2007-10-24T11:40:00.001-07:00

Love is something more stern and splendid than mere kindness.
Love is not affectionate feeling, but a steady wish for the loved person's ultimate good as far as it can be obtained.
-C.S.Lewis

God only knows what I'd be without you...
-The Beach Boys

guess what?

2007-10-20T21:25:00.001-07:00

66 days 'till Christmas!!!!!

I don't think I've been this excited about Christmas in my entire life! I'm just SO EXCITED for everything to be lit up with lights and my house to smell like spices and for the weather to pretend to be cold... My mom always lets me wrap ALL of her presents-she thinks I'm doing her a favor but really it's one of my favorite things to do- wrap presents and watch Christmas movies like Home Alone, LoveActually, White Christmas, Sleepless in Seattle, It's a Wonderful Life, While You Were Sleeping...
oh! and Hot chocolate with peppermint marshmallows! My very VERY favorite tradition that my mom and I started a few years ago.
I'M SO EXCITED!!!

(33 days 'till Thanksgiving for those of you who don't love Jesus and are annoyed by my Christmas countdown)

Bee Careful/Don't Eat Thees

2007-10-19T14:00:00.000-07:00

So outside my work today I noticed some caution tape wrapped around two pillars that are about 15 feet from one another. Later, while walking to another office, I walked past the "scene of the crime" and saw that between the pillars were about fifty DEAD BEES.
So rather than sweep them up and throw them away, maintenance put up caution tape... like someone's gonna walk by a bunch of dead bees and try to lick them or something...

change

2007-10-17T16:18:00.000-07:00

I wish you could see me now
I wish I could show you how
I'm not who I was
I used to be mad at you
A little on the hurt side too
But I'm not who I was

I found my way around
To forgiving you
Some time ago
But I never got to tell you so

I found us in a photograph
I saw me and I had to laugh
You know, I'm not who I was
You were there, you were right above me
And I wonder if you ever loved me
Just for who I was

When the pain came back again
Like a bitter friend
It was all that I could do
To keep myself from blaming you

I reckon it's a funny thing
I figured out I can sing
Now I'm not who I was
I write about love and such
Maybe 'cause I want it so much
I'm not who I was

I was thinking maybe I
I should let you know I am not the same
But I never did forget your name
Hello

Well the thing I find most amazing
In amazing grace
Is the chance to give it out
Maybe that's what love is all about

I wish you could see me now
I wish I could show you how
I'm not who I was
-Brandon Heath

I'm so glad I'm not who I once was. Have you ever looked back at a past relationship or a past friendship and felt super embarassed at the way you acted? Maybe you acted out of pain. Maybe it was deffensivism. Maybe it was bitterness, anger, frustration, or jealousy... You know that Relient K song, "Who I am hates who I've been"? that's my song... He's a big God, he makes us new.
Praise Him. Praise Him. Praise Him.

I'm a magician/I love my job

2007-10-17T15:34:00.000-07:00

So yesterday I turned this:

into this:

TWENTY FIVE TIMES

wanna see something really gross?

2007-10-12T09:52:00.000-07:00

Cute Overload

i blooped

2007-10-11T13:34:00.000-07:00

The Jars of Clay concert last night was amazing. NeedToBreathe opened for them and let me just say that I am now a fan. Those guys are super rad and I can't wait to get their cd's. In fact, they were so good that they inspired me to write my first fan letter. That's right, I'm 24 years old and this morning was the first time I've ever written a band to tell them how much I love them.
Jars gave an excellent show as well, except Dan dances like Buster from Arrested Development, which was a little distracting at times. Aside from that, they did not dissapoint. In fact, we got to be at a "special" night where the concert was videotaped (maybe for a new DVD??) AND they played CHRISTMAS MUSIC!!!

75 days till Christmas!!!

(Brian and Brent: stop rolling your eyes)

actual phone conversation from today

2007-10-10T16:09:00.000-07:00

obsessive mother, panicked, irritated, angry and talking really, really quickly (profanities have been omitted to keep it G-rated): I was just told that there's no way for me to call my daughter's room directly. If I have to call the main line and be transferred to my daughters extension by the operator every time I want to call her, then I have a problem with that because the switchboard is only open from 8-5 Monday through Friday. What if her cellphone wasn't working and there was an emergency where I needed to contact her, for example if there was an earthquake, terrorist attack or a fire?"

me (not thinking): "Ma'am, I'm sure that if there was a fire, your daughter wouldn't be in her room."

**jo-haa-nathan requested that I clarify that there IS indeed a way to dial directly to the dormrooms... we're not that ghetto...

makes me laugh every time...

2007-10-09T10:07:00.000-07:00

Parental discretion is advised.

Wedding

2007-10-08T11:05:00.000-07:00

My cousin got married yesterday at the Botanical Gardens in Arcadia. It was so much fun to see my awesome family and see my cousin get hitched!
Highlights:
*It was an outside wedding in an orange grove 50 yards in front of a waterfall!!!
*Having my mom ask me and my cousin to go stand up in front of the waterfall in front of all the wedding guests BEFORE the ceremony so she could take our picture... to which I replied: "Absolutely not"
mom:"why not??"
me: "Don't be ridiculous. You can take our picture AFTER THE WEDDING"
my aunt, who's sitting next to my mom: "Thank you, Amber. That's what I told her"
*Playing 20 questions with my cousin about what kind of wedding I want
*listening to 12 different versions of the wedding march on the way there, each one "just a little different" and trying to help my dad pick out the perfect one for Tom and Heidi
*freaking my dad out by lying and telling him I want to get married at Disneyland
*freaking my mom out by lying and telling her I want Chick-Fil-A to cater my wedding
*Tom being so "vacclemt" that he couldn't say his own wedding vows
*My uncle almost dying because he ate cake with strawberries
*the most awkward best man speech I've ever heard (I'm tempted to say "ever" but I'm sure there have been worse) "The only reason Tom asked me to be his best man is because I blackmailed him- that's why none of you recognize me... So now you've taken on every aspect of each other's lives.... how incredibly daunting that must feel.... hope it works out" (the best part was Tom's face- it was as though he was thinking "what the heck are you talking about? who would say something like that? please stop talking. Now.")
*Dancing with my Aunt's to "sexyback" (ask me for a demo- we tore up that dance floor!)
*passing out tums at the table like candy to my aunts and uncles
*remembering the funny parts about my cousin, Nicole's wedding (hi nicole! thanks for reading! Remember Katie at your wedding???)
*being "almost next"
*walking around barefoot because my feet were bleeding :(
*having so much fun I could hardly stand it!

blast from the past

2007-10-05T15:56:00.000-07:00

This morning as I was leaving for work I came across my first mp3 player that I recieved as a gift when I was in college. It's a cute little thing about two and a half inches long that looks like a little red digital recorder. I still don't really know how to work it because the instructions were in chinese.
Anyways- I decided to bring it to work with me because fridays are usually ridiculously slow, and I've been rocking out all day!
it's fun to listen to all my favorite songs from four years ago- Matthew Ryan, Martina McBride, Guns n' Roses, My Chemical Romance, Journey, the All-American Rejects, Blink 182, Queen, SheDaisy, New Radicals, N'Sync, Outkast, Switchfoot, Coldplay... man, I was all over the place!

50th Post!

2007-10-03T14:58:00.000-07:00

So for my 50th post, I've decided to list my 50 favorite romantic comedies...

um... not really.
I decided to list 5 (not fifty) things that you probably didn't know about me:

1) I love Social Distortion and Dashboard Confessional
2) I can speak Klingon.... not really... but I AM a huge Star Trek fan.
3) I love candy corn but won't eat the white tips (they taste funny). I once had a roommate who bought me a large bag of candy corn and spent an entire afternoon cutting off all the white tops for me.
4) I was a pole vaulting/soccer playing/cheerleading/actor in high school
5) I once won a thousand dollars in a singing competition for my performance of "Don't Cry for Me, Argentina"

what made me laugh today...

2007-10-02T12:56:00.000-07:00

up and at'em

2007-09-27T09:07:00.000-07:00

I used to hate it when my mom would say that to me. Especially when it was on a saturday morning and all I wanted to do was sleep in...

anyways.

I'm at work today (hooray...)

I no longer feel like I'm dying and I actually might make it to the MuteMath concert tonight

Dear Flu,

2007-09-25T16:58:00.000-07:00

Please don't kill me. That's what it feels like you're trying to do.
I hate you. Please leave.
Sincerely,
Amber

Dear Sour Skittles,

2007-09-24T13:35:00.000-07:00

You've changed. I'm not a fan.

I miss sour orange. and lime. and grape.

Sour Green Apple and Sour Watermelon taste like feet. It makes me sad because I really liked you and now you're all Sour-greenappley and watermelony.

Dissapointedly,

Amber

my weekend (because I know you care)

2007-09-24T08:11:00.000-07:00

Friday- ate chineese food with my parents, watched My Big Fat Greek Wedding and Mean Girls with my mom. I was trying to stay up until time for broomball at midnight- I couldn't do it... I'm an old lady....
Saturday- had lunch with Jon and Brent, went to HockeyMonkey, watched Brent fix our router problems like a champ, went to Sarah's birthday dinner then went to Brent's hockey game (Brent scored a goal, Jon had an assist and I didn't fall asleep!! Yay!)
Sunday- Roommate breakfast, watched Ugly Betty, lunch with Brent and then we watched ALL of season one of Arrested Development...

So basically my weekend was made up of eating and watching tv. . . . .

it was awesome.

wish list

2007-09-21T14:30:00.000-07:00

*an illegal baby turtle (preferably from chinatown) that i will name jezebel
*new jeans
*a pink helecopter with matching helecopter pad installed on top of Courtney's house so my commute will be like three minutes (i do not need one installed at my work- i can use the helepad next door at the police station)
*the book that that guy read from last night at epic
*an oxygen mask because someone just spilled paint thinner in my office (truth be told: i tagged the back room- if you don't know what that means, chances are you grew up in south orange county or were homeschooled... no offense)
*a pink floyd cd to listen to... don't want the effect from the fumes to go to waste!
*tea from CFA
*a new purse- preferably the one from ugly betty
*for my brother to call me...
*Derek Webb's 3 newest records
*financial independence... make that independently wealthy so I could travel and volunteer
*a dog that will fit in my purse who I will call Pandora
*my grandma's ring
*the metabolism to eat whatever i want
*pink toenails
*perfect hair

what do you wish for?

this is me today....

2007-09-21T11:12:00.000-07:00

right now: blogging
in 46 minutes: eating free pizza and ice cream (eating healthy has clearly gone out the window for the day)
in 1 hour and 46 minutes: back to blogging
in 5 hours and 46 minutes: getting in my car, driving somewhere to get something to drink (and by that I mean an iced tea or a slurpee)
6 hours from now: fighting friday traffic and going home to nurse this nasty nasty headache/cranky attitude and maybe go dancing or watch a movie... we'll see how I feel...

can I be mushy for five seconds?

2007-09-20T15:23:00.001-07:00

Ugly Betty

2007-09-20T13:11:00.000-07:00

"Real women snort when they laugh, have fat asses, wobbly upper arms and get PMS"

I love that show- I feel about as awkward as her half the time...

yup. that's right. i'm getting paid to sit here and answer the phone that's rung FOUR TIMES TODAY and watch tv on the internet.

nothing to do

2007-09-20T08:55:00.000-07:00

This is how I feel. It's 9:05am and the phone has rang once. ONCE. I had two emails when I got into work and now I'm studying for the A+ exam and blogging...

lame-o

oh yea, and I'm the only one in the office, which means I have to STAY PUT.
double lame-o

Ain't that a kick in the head?

2007-09-18T13:59:00.000-07:00

In the past week I've learned...

*I can't keep candy in my desk... I'll eat it all...

*Can't keep crackers here, either....

*Apparently people just can't help themselves... [there is a sign on my desk that says "ring bell for service" and nine times out of ten people feel the need to look me in the eye and ring the bell in defiance] I've almost bitten a hole in my tongue to keep from threatening to cut off their fingers...

*I can "hold it" longer than I ever thought possible... (I miss Bob and Wayne)

*Kim and Stacy were right... I do miss my parents

*I'm much more socially awkward than I thought I was... I get nervous and say weird things...

*Microsoft Office 2007 isn't as horrible as I thought it would be

*Tee shirts with inappropriate messages make me laugh out loud.... "HA!" (that's for you, annie)

*I wouldn't change the place I'm in for anything. even if it did mean not having to eat burnt leftovers from dinner because I have to save money ;) "it builds character" heck yes it does!

*this will always be my favorite movie scene: Preface- Sam's mom/Daniel's wife just died...

Daniel: So what's the problem, Sammy-o? Is it just Mum or is it something else? Maybe... school - are you being bullied? Or is it something worse? Can you give me any clues at all?
Sam: You really want to know?
Daniel: I really want to know.
Sam: Even though you won't be able to do anything to help?
Daniel: Even if that's the case, yeah.
Sam: Okay. Well, the truth is... actually... I'm in love.
Daniel: Sorry?
Sam: I know I should be thinking about Mum all the time, and I am. But the truth is I'm in love and I was before she died, and there's nothing I can do about it.
Daniel: [laughs] Aren't you a bit young to be in love?
Sam: No.
Daniel: Oh, well, okay, right. Well, I mean, I'm a little relieved.
Sam: Why?
Daniel: Well, because I thought it would be something worse.
Sam: [incredulous] Worse than the total agony of being in love?
Daniel: Oh. No, you're right. Yeah, total agony.

*my favorite part of the day is when my boss blasts "Everything I do, I do it for you" at 3:40 and lip syncs into a ruler

He is...

2007-09-18T08:20:00.001-07:00

I know now Lord, why you utter no answer. You yourself are the answer. Before your face questions die away. What other answer would suffice?
C.S. Lewis

why you shouldn't act like an idiot....

2007-09-17T13:55:00.000-07:00

because you might hurt yourself.
Yesterday Brent and I had an AWESOME time at Disneyland, hanging out with friends, laughing and having tons of fun. we decided to leave around nine- we took the tram back to the parking structure. we were parked on the very top level, which means you take the one LOOOOONNNG escalator and then one baby escalator to get to the top level. the "up" side wasn't moving, but the "down" side was- so.... Brent started climbing the "up side" and i (like an idiot) decided i was going to run and beat him by going twice as fast up the "down" side, that was moving down....
yea... i got to the top and ate it... i pretty much belly flopped right onto the landing. (look for the video on youtube... the security guys probably peed themselves laughing at my wipeout watching it over and over and over again...)
i jammed my shoulder cut my elbow, both knees (one of which is swollen and i'm icing it periodically), i hurt my wrists and bonked my head on the side of the escalator... all in the name of.... not thinking

so if you see me walking around today- this is why i'm walking like THAT...

that's not my name

2007-09-17T13:38:00.000-07:00

so today, I was sitting at my desk, minding my own beeswax, and one of my co-workers walked into my "area" and introduced me to two independant contractors who'll be working here with us for the next few weeks. Here's how the conversation went:
Ken: "Karen, Alexis, I would like to introduce you to our front office receptionist, Beth."
Karen and Alexis: "HI BETH! HI BETH! It's so great to meet you!"
I smile. "It's nice to meet both of you"
We shake hands.
Karen and Alexis both simultaneously look from my eyeballs, to my nametag (which says AMBER BAKER) back up to my eyeballs, confusedly smile (is confusedly a word? if not, it should be) look at each other, look back at Ken and he leads them next door to introduce them to everyone else in the office. by their correct name.

lame-o.

i'm a ten

2007-09-17T10:39:00.000-07:00

Yes, it's 10:30 in the morning and I'm eating french onion flavored multigrain chips whilest drinking a Mountain Dew Code Red...
next is a twix bar... however, i might wait on that one until after lunch.
i have three good reasons to be stress eating. actually, not three. more like two. both of which will have bloggs dedicated to them later in the day.

outcast genius...

2007-09-15T21:48:00.000-07:00

The Nerd? Geek? or Dork? Test
Your Score: Outcast Genius60 % Nerd, 52% Geek, 60% Dork

For The Record:

A Nerd is someone who is passionate about learning/being smart/academia.
A Geek is someone who is passionate about some particular area or subject, often an obscure or difficult one.
A Dork is someone who has difficulty with common social expectations/interactions.
You scored better than half in all three, earning you the title of: Outcast Genius.

Outcast geniuses usually are bright enough to understand what society wants of them, and they just don't care! They are highly intelligent and passionate about the things they know are *truly* important in the world. Typically, this does not include sports, cars or make-up, but it can on occassion (and if it does then they know more than all of their friends combined in that subject).

Outcast geniuses can be very lonely, due to their being outcast from most normal groups and too smart for the room among many other types of dorks and geeks, but they can also be the types to eventually rule the world, ala Bill Gates, the prototypical Outcast Genius.

Congratulations!

cutest girls ever

2007-09-14T09:20:00.000-07:00

Amber, Amber and Lisa- we thugs.

i think we were pretending to scream....

tag tag tag

2007-09-12T13:16:00.000-07:00

Miss Heather tagged me...so I'm tagging Brent, Jon, Stacy, Jessica, and ARR!
It's fun! You have to use 3 words to answer each question. No more, no less. It's harder than you think!
1. Where is your cell phone? in my pocketbook
2. Who is your boyfriend/girlfriend or Husband/Wife? Brent Russell Wessberg
3. Where is one of your parents? working at church
4. Cheesecake? i love it
5. Your favorite thing to do? Cherry on Top
6. Your dream last night? didn't have one
7. Your favorite drink? really cold water
8. The room you're in? arctic cold office
9. George Bush? he's the president
10. What you're good at? being totally ridiculous
11. One of your wish list items? a better car
12. Where did you grow up? mostly southern california
13. The last thing you did? high fived adrian
14. What are you wearing? black and white
15. Who stole your sunglasses, amber? stupid Indiana Jones....
16. Ketchup? absolutely love it
17. Your computer? Microsoft Office 2007
18. Your life? learning so much
19. Your mood? I'm a seven
20 your next blog? probably about caffeine
21. Your car is? on the brink
22. Your summer? hardest one ever
23. Your relationship status? so much fun
24. Your favorite color(s)? pink pink pink
25. When is the last time you laughed? three minutes ago
Ok...get blogging people!